HEP

Sept. 28, 2017

Stop the presses Henry – incredible breaking news, worthy of a spinning old-timey newspaper graphic!

Today I actually did my HEP.

HEP is Barbara-speak for the Home Exercise Program. I prefer to think of it in the Dobie Gillis sense, in which people in berets will watch me do “sit to stands” twenty times and then they’ll snap their fingers in groovy coffee house applause.

It’s surprising for me to do the HEP; Barbara assigned me specific exercises (entirely remedial; anyone watching me would snort and say “You come up with excuses to skip THOSE?”) when I first started working with her, and for a few weeks I did them…

(Barbara kept coming up with more and better exercises that she added to my HEP until I was overwhelmed and gave up entirely – at least, that’s the way I prefer to remember it…)

…but for months now, I’ve been ignoring the HEP. I wasn’t hep.

Today I pulled out the foam roller and the five-pound weights and I HEP’ped. Absolutely nothing changed. Except I felt a tiny little five-pound-weight glow of pride.

And tomorrow? I’ll do it AGAIN.

Probably…