I found myself prostrate on my mother’s sofa like a Victorian woman deprived by her corset of vital oxygen. Was it a fit of the vapors? A terrible fright? Had I fainted away at the sight of something alarmingly unladylike?
No. It was one quarter of an English muffin.
At least, I THINK that’s what did it.
It was day 13 of the 14-day sugar reduction diet yesterday, and because 14 is the maximum number of days you’re supposed to be on it, I’m trying to break the grip of “the only carbs you can eat are veggies” easily and gently.
I’d ordered Eggs Benedict at the restaurant – I love that you can eat all the protein and fat you want – and was honestly surprised when it arrived on the traditional English muffin. How could I have forgotten? “Hah,” I thought – “I can indulge myself in this humble bread because I’m weaning off the sugar reduction diet!”
(The road to hell is paved with such justifications.)
It was GLORIOUS. Not the runny, hot, delicious egg. Not the creamy, fat-rich Hollandaise. No, I mean the bread. It was… mm. Good. Staff of life good.
So good, in fact, that after I ate a quarter of it, I slide my ham and egg off the bread and set the rest of the staff of life aside. One full slice, one half slice. They sat there watching me reproachfully as I tried to mop up the remaining goozle with steamed zucchini; a most unsatisfactory caddy.
And then I walked four blocks to my mother’s house. And then I threw myself on her sofa and promptly fell asleep.
Could it have REALLY been the English muffin? Could almost two weeks of a sugar reduction diet really so seriously recalibrated my metabolism that the quick-burn energy from such a small amount of bread left me with such a huge crash that my only option was to fall asleep?
Or was it just the power of suggestion?
I’ll admit to being fascinated. My body seems to have become a ninth-grade science fair project. Can’t wait to see what happens today!
I refuse to worry about copyright infringement with this photo, as this whole post has been a hymn of praise to the English muffin, and Thomas’ should be grateful I used this photo by which to tempt my TWENTY-NINE followers. Oh, I’m a trend setter, I am.