That Which Must Not Be Named


I lost track of the many Batman movies years ago, but in an early one, Batman says to Kim Basinger (as he calculates whether he can spring them to safety via the steel harness in his belt), “How much do you weigh?”

Kim simpers and says “Oh, around 118.”

Every woman in the movie theater groaned.

Batty does his advanced calculus in his rubber-gloved head and off they go, into the air above a grim, dark alley – but halfway to salvation, they grind to a halt. He looks at her accusingly.

“You weigh a little more than 118.”

And every woman in the movie theater cheered.

If tall, beautiful, healthy Kim Basinger couldn’t own her weight, who among us can?

Several kind people have noted that my blog is “brave” or “unusually frank;” I think it’s because I’ll say out loud what I weigh – which as of this morning is 230 pounds.

If you don’t say your weight out loud, then it can’t really be true. Right?

Once I told my son when he was about 12 that we were going to the dentist that afternoon; in a panic he raced around the house looking for his toothbrush. “Why can’t you find your toothbrush? When did you have it last?” “When we went to Vermont.” “That was three weeks ago. Do you mean you haven’t brushed your teeth in three weeks?” “Don’t tell the dentist!” “Oh, I think he’ll know without me telling him…”

If you don’t say your weight out loud, IT DOESN’T MATTER; you still weigh that. People won’t look at you and say “I wonder if she’s overweight; if only I knew what her scale said this morning…”

LOTS of women are overweight. It’s not a moral failing, even if that’s what society is telling you. You can own the number; you can even say it out loud, if you want to. It’s not Voldemort. It’s just a number – only the very most crude measure of health. It says nothing about who YOU are.

If you believe the only women worthy of rescue weigh 118 pounds (or less), then you’ve bought into a myth. Be who you are. If you want to change something, go ahead and change it. But begin without fear or shame. That’s just who you are. It’s not who you may be tomorrow, but it’s who you are now. No courage needed. NO ONE is happy with their body – and why not? Is it the fear of being suspended halfway above the Joker’s men, caught in the lie of what you don’t weigh?

C’mon down. It’s okay; you’re okay.

Screen Shot 2017-10-25 at 10.18.30 AM

This picture is of Kim Basinger (look at those skinny girl cheekbones, dang) and Michael Keaton (who could do the Batman growly voice somethin’ sweet) in the 1989 movie “Batman,” which a quick Google search reminds me is based on DC Comics. There – is that enough to satisfy copyright laws? Perhaps I’ll just add the words “Stan Lee” because why not?


4 thoughts on “That Which Must Not Be Named

  1. Another quick google search tells me that Kim Basinger is 5’7′ – if she weighed 118 she would be SEVERLY underweight! She wouldn’t need Batman to save her, she’d just have to wait for a little breeze to blow her out of harm’s way.


    1. But that number – 118. In my mind, that’s what women are SUPPOSED to weigh. What a poisonous lie that is to tell us all! Thanks, Bunnyhead – good Googling!


  2. It’s just a number, but if you grew up with a mother who was always pointing out people who were “big fat slobs”, it takes a while to get your head around the concept. In my mom’s world, if you were fat you were automatically lazy, undisciplined, and stupid. I am now losing weight and working out to reduce my risk of Type 2 diabetes, but I’m going for healthy, not a number on the scale. At 63 I have finally given up trying to have a Kim Bassinger body!


    1. Juli, in my childhood, we’d go to McDonalds and then – for fun – my mom and dad would sit in the car as we ate and rate customers entering the restaurant. “No, she’s too fat to go in there. He’s okay. Now, she needs to watch it.” It was like they were the judging panel. How charming. It eats away at the brain… Best good wishes on your journey; health is a wonderful reason to make the effort.


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