Silent

2.6.18

Generally speaking, there are two kinds of people who make noise: People who are proud of what they’re doing and want to tell you about that – and me, because I talk all the time whether I have something useful to say or not.

(My college roommate used to say “Talking to Pru is like – not talking” because if she didn’t answer my question quickly enough, I would answer for her … How annoying of me. Aren’t you glad you and I are separated by a computer screen?!)

The chattiness of successful people is particularly apparent on social media. Most folken don’t leap to update Facebook when something stupid or boring happens. We save up our brio or pride or aggression for vigorous posts and brush aside the daily quotidian. That’s human nature.

But it means that sometimes it looks like EVERYONE BUT YOU is making progress. And that’s just untrue.

For every person posting about losing inches or pounds, or meeting a goal, or adding another lap on the stairs… there are uncounted numbers of people who feel most comfortable lurking on social media who think THEY ARE ALONE in not achieving.

It can make you feel… weak. Like you’re less than you should be; like you’re letting down some mythical standard.

This isn’t speculation on my part; I suffer from this all the time. People who I love, and who I trust love me, have accomplished things that I haven’t even considered doing yet. As an extreme example, my friend Victoria has not only done her taxes but already gotten her refund. COME ON! That’s asking too much of me to witness. It’s EARLY FEBRUARY, for Pete’s sake!

I think it’s worth at least one lone post to say that I don’t want ANYONE to feel bad about what they have and haven’t accomplished in terms of their health. This isn’t the first time I’ve said it, but I’ll say it again because I believe it so strongly:

We are all dealing with the maximum we can handle every day. None of us are lounging.

So if you wish you’d done more about protecting your health, you aren’t alone. And there is no value in judging yourself for past decisions. That’s the past. When the time is right, when you have the capacity to add something, you’ll make one or more of the small steps that will help you to a healthier life.

You know it and I know it.

You have it in you to make the tiny, marginal choices that begin a healthier process. But if you can’t do it today, then stay strong in spirit. Don’t put yourself down, because if you don’t zealously guard your own good opinion of yourself, who else is going to do it?

I make a lot of noise, I know – and you’re kindness incarnate for reading my blog. My journey is fraught with tiny traumas and dizzying (to me) successes, and I don’t have the delicacy to shut up about them. But don’t let my noise fool you. My taxes aren’t done, my bed is unmade, and the aforementioned Victoria is waiting for several writing jobs from me that I put off so I could work out. We all do the very best we can… whether noisy or silent.

Onward, my silent friend!